coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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