I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Please don't give away my fajitas
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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