He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
