I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
