what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
