I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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