I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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