Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
