she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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