I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
