Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sober January is a disaster.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
