she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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