Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
