Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
