I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
