I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
