ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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