we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
