Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
