One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize