How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
