They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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