He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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