"it" just moved
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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