she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
