you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
