Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize