Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
be right there i have to get my cape
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
