Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
