who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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