He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i think my cat just said my name.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
