what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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