we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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