How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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