She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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