Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
