And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So vagazzling was a success
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
