i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
