I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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