That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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