I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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