I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize