She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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