Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
