we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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