I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
