Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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