Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
