Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
