The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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