Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
