its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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