therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
