omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think i have two assholes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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