He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
