he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
