i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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