I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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