Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
