I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
