Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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