Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
