the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
