yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
