Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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