I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
