you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize