I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
