And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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