So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
