I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I deserve this hangover.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
