I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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