after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
COCAINE IS GR8
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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