no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize